About three months before my wedding is when I started to find new things to stress out about. It wasn’t enough to worry about the seating arrangements and the RSVPs and the wedding coordinator not responding to my emails within 24 hours (“She is getting them, right? Does she still work there? Did she get fired because she doesn’t respond to her client’s emails within 24 hours? Do you think she died?”). It seemed like every morning I woke up with a new (usually irrational) fear:
“What if I forget to do something?” “What if the photographer gets sick? Or the minister? Should I have booked a back-up minister?” “What if I don’t like my hair? What if it RAINS? ON MY HAIR?”
And the scariest (and most irrational) one of all: “What if I don’t like my dress?”
I bought my dress. I picked out my dress. I chose my dress in the middle of a store amongst hundreds of other dresses because I LIKED IT THE MOST. But that was six months ago. What if I liked it then, but I don’t like it anymore?
You would think – purchasing a dress that costs the same amount as a Louis Vuitton handbag – that I would be over the moon, head over heels, in LOVE with the idea of wearing that dress. But instead I was filled with anxiety. I’d chosen a dress that fell into the “strapless” category – which basically felt like a tube top in wedding dress form, but I’d seen photos of so many other brides with a similar body type to mine ROCKING these strapless gowns (AKA: slender with no boobs) and decided that I wanted to be one of those brides – so I bought a strapless dress. And from that moment on, I panicked about “arm fat” and how I didn’t want to look like I was “spilling out of it”.
Speaking as a fairly level-headed bride (for the most part), I knew that I had other – more important – things to worry about, but honestly: “arm fat” was higher on my list than the RSVPs. Even when I bought the dress, instead of asking the consultant about things like customization and fittings, I was saying things like “Do you think I would need to start doing arm work-outs?”