I was twenty-two when I attended my first bachelorette party, and I remember hesitating to mention the ‘bachelorette’ part of the party to my mom. Yes, I was twenty-two and could obviously do whatever I wanted, it’s not as if my mom was going to tell me that I wasn’t “allowed” to go – but.she’s going to imagine me drinking out of a penis straw, isn’t she? I thought to myself. She’s going to imagine us sitting around some Channing-Tatum-style-strip-club while dudes take their clothes off and my friends and I throw money at them.
I don’t know if she actually thought that. I don’t know what she thought, because I remember all she said was “Have fun!” while I walked out the door secretly worrying that my friends were going to surprise everyone by dragging us to some Channing-Tatum-style-strip-club.
It’s not that I don’t like Channing-Tatum-style-strip-clubs, it’s just… you know. I’d rather go to like, a spa or something.
Which is why when it came time for my own bachelorette party, I was equally as nervous as I was excited. I was, like, ninety-nine-ish percent sure that my friends weren’t going to pull a fast one and hire a male stripper to dance around our hotel room and shove his junk in my face, but… that one percent of me was like, “I can TOTALLY see them being assholes and paying some guy to give me a lap dance.”
Look. It’s not that I’m boring, okay? I like lap dances! I don’t think they’re awkward at all!….. okay, I mean, maybe a little..
But aren’t they? Sigh. I just find the idea of some strange man gyrating his half naked body next to me a little…. alright, take the whole “hired stripper” aspect out of it, is there another setting where it would be okay for a strange man to start taking his clothes off and giving you a lap dance in front of your friends? No?
Gah. I don’t know how this turned into a post about strippers. We’re here to talk about Bachelorette destinations, so if you – like me – are a big ol’ boring stick in the mud when it comes to penis straws, male strippers, and the idea of shoving money down some guy’s pants, then this is the post for you. Here are TEN classy, alternative options for your Bachelorette weekend that don’t include Vegas.