Let’s not pretend that I am someone who should be giving relationship advice. At least once a week my husband and I have the “where does this go?” argument in the kitchen. Kyle and I have different ideas about what “organization” means. For example, I’m a fan of the phrase “organized chaos” – Kyle, on the other hand, is not. Everything must have its own spot. And the spot must “make sense”.
You can see how this would cause problems. While I’m not a couples counselor, a marriage therapist, or a relationship wizard – I’m the first to tell someone that “every couple argues”, because that’s what I’ve read on the Internet, and to imagine a couple that doesn’t argue sounds a little bit creepy. You mean they agree on everything? EVERYTHING? All of the time? Even when it comes to loading the dishwasher?
We are not that couple – the couple who agrees on everything. I have my way of loading the dishwasher and Kyle has his (even though his way takes twice as long, and he thinks by doing it my – more efficient – way the dishes “aren’t getting as clean”). To each their own. The goal here is continue growing, and to grow together as a couple.
We just got married this past October, and – to be honest – I would be surprised if we aren’t still arguing about the dishes and the house and having the “where does this go?” conversation when we’re in our sixties, but if we can continue building and strengthening our relationship over the next thirty years – I think we’ll be in pretty good shape when it comes to “the big stuff” (because let’s be realistic here – there will always be ‘big stuff’, even if it’s not happening all of the time).
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