How To Compromise When It Comes To Wedding Planning

It was early in the planning process – like way too early, we’re talking maybe a month after he proposed – when I questioned myself on whether or not I was being a “Bridezilla”.



First of all – can we finally banish the whole “Bridezilla” title? A bride is not a malicious creature with fangs and claws who eats people and climbs buildings like a squirrel. This is the equivalent to calling any woman with an opinion “too bossy” or “too loud” – it’s 2020, you should be allowed to have a specific opinion about your own wedding.



Unless your opinion is…. a little bit…. too….. hmm. Okay – unless your opinion makes your level-headed fiancé say – “Seriously. You want to build a deck so that we can get married on the beach and you don’t have to walk in the sand. Seriously?” Any comment that begins and ends with “Seriously. Seriously?” means you might have gone too far. Reign it back. Just a touch.



The deck thing came later. (I mean – I wasn’t actually implying that we should build a deck, I believe my exact words were: “Maybe they can lay down some wood? But, like, maybe the wood could be like, an inch or two off the ground, you know?”) Anywho – that one came after we’d already decided that we would get married in California. Initially we had planned to get married in Chicago, where we met (and live now).

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Eight resolutions to strengthen your relationship this year

January 14, 2020 in Married Life, Relationship Stuff

Let’s not pretend that I am someone who should be giving relationship advice. At least once a week my husband and I have the “where does this go?” argument in the kitchen. Kyle and I have different ideas about what “organization” means. For example, I’m a fan of the phrase “organized chaos” – Kyle, on the other hand, is not. Everything must have its own spot. And the spot must “make sense”.



You can see how this would cause problems. While I’m not a couples counselor, a marriage therapist, or a relationship wizard – I’m the first to tell someone that “every couple argues”, because that’s what I’ve read on the Internet, and to imagine a couple that doesn’t argue sounds a little bit creepy. You mean they agree on everything? EVERYTHING? All of the time? Even when it comes to loading the dishwasher?



We are not that couple – the couple who agrees on everything. I have my way of loading the dishwasher and Kyle has his (even though his way takes twice as long, and he thinks by doing it my – more efficient – way the dishes “aren’t getting as clean”). To each their own. The goal here is continue growing, and to grow together as a couple.



We just got married this past October, and – to be honest – I would be surprised if we aren’t still arguing about the dishes and the house and having the “where does this go?” conversation when we’re in our sixties, but if we can continue building and strengthening our relationship over the next thirty years – I think we’ll be in pretty good shape when it comes to “the big stuff” (because let’s be realistic here – there will always be ‘big stuff’, even if it’s not happening all of the time).

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