Not wanting kids at your wedding doesn’t mean that you don’t like kids. It just means that you want the kids’ parents to have a good time. It’s not exactly the best parenting move to start doing tequila shots at 9pm when you know that your night is going to be ending around 9:30 because it’s somebody’s bedtime.
This may be one of the largest growing pains of all when it comes to getting married, but no one really talks about it.
You’re getting more parents. Not “different” parents – I’m assuming the original mom and dad who changed your diapers and gave you life aren’t going anywhere – these aren’t replacement parents, they’re just… additional parents.
Assuming your husband didn’t offer your family a goat in exchange for your hand, there is no hard and fast rule that says that you have to change your last name.
This tradition originated during the days of Charlemagne and Alfred the Great (AKA: so long ago that people were referred to as “the Great”) when women lacked an independent identity from their husbands. Back in those days when a woman got married, their fathers – who “owned them”, I guess – were literally giving them away as property to their new husbands.. (It actually says that if you dive into the history of all of this – women were considered “property”.)
My parents used to call it “shy”. I was a “shy” kid. Which I hated because I didn’t want to be “shy”, I wanted to be the kid who wasn’t afraid to talk in class. Being afraid to talk is weird. I wanted to be able to raise my hand to answer a simple question without giving myself a mental pep talk to raise my hand.