Tip #1 – wear underwear. Not that I didn’t wear underwear, of course. I’m not that kind of girl, the kind of girl who goes commando to her dress fitting – her wedding dress fitting nonetheless.
I just wish I’d worn “real” underwear. You know, the kind that covers my entire butt, and not just some of my butt.
“Can you hold this?” The bridal consultant asked me to hold a section of tulle from the bottom layer of my dress.
In my defense, I didn’t know I’d have the company of a “bridal consultant” in the dressing room with me. Honestly I assumed they would let me get dressed on my own, wrap a tape measure around my waist and call it a day after saying “Yep! Still fits!” .
In case you couldn’t tell, I don’t get things “fitted” very often. Or, ever.
“What kind of bra were you planning to wear?” Bridal Consultant Girl asked me. “This one?” By ‘this one’ she meant the normal looking bra that I was wearing – the kind that had straps. The kind that probably wouldn’t look so hot with a strapless dress so, no, obviously I wasn’t planning on wearing that one.
“Oh, uh, no.” I said awkwardly. “I still need to find a strapless bra….” Honestly I wasn’t planning on wearing a bra at all – at least not to the fitting, but I didn’t know how uncomfortable Bridal Consultant Betty was going to feel if we were alone in a dressing room together and I ripped off my bra. I was already wearing half-an-underwear (a thong. I was wearing a thong. Can I say that? Let’s just clear it up right now so that you don’t think I was wearing some sort of gross, old underwear with holes in it or something).
“You need cups.” She told me. At the time I’d wondered if this was her seamstress-y way of telling me that I needed bigger boobs. “Here.” She said handing me two…. well, two boob cups. That’s what they are. They looked like a chicken cutlet bra, but they were made out of fabric and designed to be sewn into dresses. “Take that off,” She said, referring to the bra that I was wearing. “We’ll use these.”
Geez,.. I made my husband buy me dinner first, but OKAY BETTY.